Is it enough to be a watcher?
A beautiful visual must be accompanied by a physical sensation, otherwise it would be enough to look at an image of a mountain without feeling the height of it and smelling the air from the top.
Often we see pictures of the earth and the mind generates a thought, ‘I want to go there’.
I look up in my wandering and see a man on his bike.
He notices me and emits a cheerful “Good Morning”. I say the same back and feel a social unspoken rule has been broken. Nobody ever speaks to another in the desert. We are all protected by a sense of personal space.
All it takes is somebody who doesn’t conform and we are all in danger.
I wonder if I could become a non-conformist?
It’s black against the pale blue backdrop.
Its black and twisted and sharp in its nakedness. Its not unique to this place. There are countless black intersecting marks foregrounding the scene.
On a recent road trip, I went to view some desert sculptures in Australia’s New South Whales Outback.
The sun was almost set, and the visiting hours of the site were nearing their end. It was especially cold that afternoon, I remember putting on my jacked and hobo gloves before getting out of the car.
The sculptures were great, but I found myself more captivated by the natural wilderness surrounding them
The endless sense of space, the shrub like plants and the bright unworldly color of the grass against the red rocks.
While groups of tourists gathered around the sculptures,discussing them, photographing them from many different angles, posing with them… I found myself taking pictures of the scruffy trees reflecting the last rays of the day’s sunlight.
Maybe I’m just not cultured’ enough…
But most times, natural beauty wins for me.
Not one of the people has looked at me this entire trip
I’ve done my share of staring at each of them, struggling to understand that behind that face, that skin, there is a human mind, a presence that is the center of its own universe.
“Do I feel ready? Hell no… I expect I will have to give a speech in front of everybody”
This time – one year ago – I was preparing for my final day at the office. I was worried about giving a speech.
I had decided to throw everything away, go back to university to finish the study I had started and given up on five years prior.
“Enthusiasm eludes me, how will I handle university?
It seems like a lifetime ago, but it has only been one year. The speech went alright by the way… I had headphones in and the entire office had collected behind my desk without me noticing… After that I just started worrying about how I would handle University…
University was fine too. I managed to do much better than I ever thought I could.
I suppose all the worrying is pointless in the end… with all the days that have passed it certainly seems that way.
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Lately, I am so angry. There is so much anger within me that I don’t know what to do with it. Anger fringes the words I speak, the actions that I take. It leaks from my personality, becoming the constant embellishment of the life I lead.
I don’t want to be angry anymore.